the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
...so i touched it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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