i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
