It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
