Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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