Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
