cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
