You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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