the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
