His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
