I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
