Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Less talking, more tequila
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
