he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
