First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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