you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just cut my nipple shaving
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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