I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
