if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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