Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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