He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
