Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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