adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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