You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
