You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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