so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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