You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
