Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
