What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
