Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
