Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
