You really coming over, don't trick.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
