chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
