i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
