Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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