On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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