I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Mom said you looked used
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
