Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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