shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
