just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
