Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
