I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
