she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
