I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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