think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This baby is an asshole
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
