Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You are the jesus of drinking
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
