Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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