I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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