to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
