My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
