The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
