GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
