Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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